Quite Rude
- Site Navigation
- Main Page
- Past Blogs
- Recent Comments
- Serious Linkage
- 1976 design
- autistic cuckoo
- meyer web
- mezzo blue
- ryan brill
- simple bits
- stop design
- stuff and nonsense
- zeldman
- Peer Linkage
- some canadian guy
- the hidden side
- slightly remarkable
- skinner a la mód
- qstaircase
- Web-comic Linkage
- alien loves predator
- bigger cheese
- penny arcade
- sinfest
- questionable content
- vg cats
Phil's toxic arse is currently contributing 39655 times more to global warming than carbon dioxide.
...the carpet, that's gonna stain. Derek dragged the broken robot outside and leaned it against the garden gate for...
...emergency booty calls...
...in other news Derek, backed by Blair, Asia, Europe, Africa, David, the rest of the world and God declared war on Americanisms (including 'booty call')...
...and soon after got their asses handed to them because they suck in general...
...said Ben, right before he was proved wrong. So then Ben went and cried in the...
corner", said David, who was promptly headbutted right in the bojangles by Derek, who then...
...collapsed with a concussion for David was wearing a steel cup that more that protected him from angry beets, and infact, nukes. Having been thoroughly beaten, Ben...
...proceeded to shoot David in the bojangles with an armor peircing shotgun, and then threw salt in the place where the shot had been...
misfired producing a funny salty bloody mess of ...
...yank...
...in' juice...
...which is the new drink lovingly made by the same people who genetically modified puppies to produce Coca Cola. After the shotgun misfired on poor Ben who's balls were now as flat and leathery as bat wings, David wasted no time in...
...kicking the shredded wound. Then me and Ben played pool and I won four times in a row (true story).
Anyway, while all this was happening Derek...
watched in amazement to see dave win anything... after which he purchased a large sheep and took it to ...
...the local church, to get married to the beast. After finding the preist would not marry them...
...Derek stormed out in a fit or rage and was duly struck down by the hand of God. In hell Derek...
...fumed some more, but eventually decided to get on with his afterlife. So, to spite god, Derek began hitting on the devil...
...who cast him down into the little known eigth circle of Hell, which was reserved for beets who hit on the Devil. Derek was in unimaginable...
...general discomfort as objects of various shapes, sizes, and colour...
...probed him. Hard. Then Derek remebered that he was a gay and began to enjoy the probing quite loudly, causing considerable upset to the Gremlins and Little Wizards who were doing their best to fill the months Torment Quota. Thus, the Devil did cast out the bum-fun lovin' beet unto the worst place in all of the universe...
...the pit of spammers. Cast into the dark, flooded pit, Derek...
...was bombarded by a horde of dead spam-twats offering breast enlargements, penile inversion operations and cheap viagra alternatives. After what seemed like an eternity of spam...
...Derek finally got to the porn spam...
...which was worse, they taunted him with 1 second free trials and just when he was gagging for it, they asked for his credit card details. Oh the tragedy, for beets were not allowed...
to even see a credit card let alone own one!
"Why?", you may ask, but you will not get an answer. For the tale of the anti-beets with credit cards act is a tragic one, riddled with pain, misery, and meatloaf. It all began...
...in Ben's colon. On a brighter note, todays highs will be around the midlands with temperatures reaching 35 degrees C. Furthermore...
...the British are 'tards. Tards who should go by "standard" because I don't know metric temperatures. Anyways, lately Paul's smell has reached abysmal levels, causing widespread...
...America is gay syndrome. This of course was not aided by their dismal leader, who's re-election reinforced the "Americans are all fucktards" stereotype. So Derek...
…decided to become a Canadian citizen and denounce all his American heritage to lessen the shame of his already….
...disgraced family tree. The Canadians accepted him with open arms and no sceptism, because Canadians are nice people unlike the American scum. Upon leaving Derek spat on...
ben.... and all was well in the world as he skipped merrily across the border and began his new life as a ...
...rent boy. His new life was not without it's perks though, like that one time when he...
...came upon a nice old lady, who offered him cookies in exchange for his cookies. A confused, but intrigued Derek...
...killed her, stole her cookies and had twice as many cookies as before AND a new sex doll!!! All was going well until...
said sex doll becam decomposing during a particularly vigorous bout of anal sex. Her colon collapsed around his beet-cock,...
...which only added to Derek's enjoyment. After he was finished with her, he dumped the body in...
...the local homeless food donation box. While walking back home,...
...he got peckish and decided to pose as a homeless bum to get some free food from the shelter, the food tasted quite oddly like...
...the felching session he had last night. On a TOTALLY unrelated note, McDonalds had started donating food to the homeless shelter because...
...they wanted to kill more people with their poor excuse for food. Derek ran away to...
...Borganorgan, or at least he thought he did, because Dr. Hobo had put all this crack in the food. While on this happy-time trip...
...he saw a ghost who wanted to kill him. He thought this was quite cute so he put the ghost in his...
...best turtleneck sweater. Pleased, the ghost assaulted Derek with hot sex, after...
...wards they both lit up a cigarette and lay quietly next to each other. Then the ghost said, "I think I'm...
...pregnant." Derek, eyes wide, quickly left the room, and came back with a...
...coathanger. After a lot of screaming, the pregnancy was no longer an issue any more and Derek was free to...
...write his book on supernatural, after-life pregnancy, and attend pro-death-life rallies. Then, after hitting me for saying "pro-death-life,"...
...God put his pimp hand down and Ben promised never to say it again on penalty of being bitch slapped again by the all-mighty *cough*non-existant*cough* being. The book was a massive...
...dildo with about 10 words printed on it. Everyone was generally confused, sexually excited, and...