Quite Rude
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Quite Rude, because 39644 intimidated slaves can't be wrong!
...lubricant sales shot through the roof. Sadly these events took place during the great roofer shortage of '87 and...
...many a baby was devoured by hungry roofers who were being held captive by Willy Nelson because his talking dog said it was a good idea. Now, it was found out that these dildo-books contained a powerful itching powder...
...which turned out to only heighten the pleasure. Then the rabid crows...
...got a taste for bloody itching cream, and began trying to get more of it by attacking the lonely elderly who couldn't afford lube. Derek's grandma...
...had her entire head removed in a new experimental cosmetic surgery technique. Meanwhile the controversy surrounding the...
...cock bond was resolved by legalizing gay marriage. Now, in Derek's pants,...
...an atomic bomb was armed and little did he know that behind this fiendish plot was none other than his arch nemesis...
...Ronald McDonald. That evil bastard wanted Derek's exploded...
...ruins to be displayed outside Subway in the hope of driving customers away from them so that McDonalds could get a larger market share. Unfortunately...
...like the people who buy salads at McDonald's (IT'S A FUCKING SALAD!), he was a fucknut, and really only put a slightly retarded and unconscious squirrel in Derek's pants. After the squirrel had a seizure near his groin, Derek realized he had found a new best friend, and...
...promptly ignored him. For Derek had a phobia of friends, unfortunate but true, poor Derek had a lonely existance and could only relieve his boredom by...
...moshing at Britney Spears (read: BS) shows. One night, after accidentally elbowing an 11 year old girl in the scrotum...
...he had to go to the hospital for emergency elbow surgery, since the 11 year old girl was actually made of granite and his elbow was travelling at over 6000 miles / hour. Derek was howling in...
...to his mother's face, because he felt like being all emo. He was promptly shot in the face for whining over a "boo-boo," and...
...then he started to whine about being shot (the cry-baby). What can we learn from this? Well, Derek is most certainly not the exception to the rule...
...that beets don't like being shot, and since they don't have brains, shots to the face don't kill them. Unlike them pussy humans...
...who eat beetroots. Just then a human ate Derek, he fell down into the deep dark abyss and the only think he could think as he fell was...
...man, pie rules. Luckily, the human was a fatass trying to be healthy by eating massive amounts of veggies in place of cheetos, and he was swallowed whole. After shaking his head clear...
...his head was invisible, a curious but somewhat unhelpful fact. Upon contact with the stomach acid...
...Derek shreiked like a little girl. Having regained his composure...
...only to turn into a relatively large Blue whale, he set off to make his fortune in London city where the streets are paved with...
peni (penises sounds wrong) of...
...which only two of them were still attached, the famous duo went by the name of...