Probes

Poem

Rice

Where is the rice?
I think it tastes nice,
Rice will suffice,
For my mice.

I like to eat rice,
In my batman disguise,
Covered in spice,
At a reasonable price.

Rice rice rice,
Infested with lice,
In my time travel device,
So I can eat it twice.

By Phil

Comments:

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#1 Footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy.
England England.
Footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy.
England England.
Footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy.
England England.
Footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy footy.
Football football.
GOAL! IT'S A GOAL! OH IT'S A GOAL!
Scored by England England England England England England England England England England England England.
Football football.

Scotland: Haggis and scotch eggs.
Ireland: Guiness and fighting
Wales: Sheep and dirt.
England: Ninja's and lasers and gold.

I think that sums up my sentiments.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/35/

3:09:04 PM on Thursday 3^rd June 2004

Posted by: M@X (drmarkysparky at hotmail dot com)

#2 Shite, you know it's right.
Especially at night.
Or while flying a kite.
Chewing on shite.

Piss is like this.
A golden fountain of bliss.
Better than a rainbow kiss.
Drinking piss.

Macdonalds Happy Meal.
Hear that pig squeal.
Big Balls you could feel.
And a corkscrew dick.
Surely not real.

Blog blog, full of grog.
Suck my own, like a dog.
Think I am about to come.
And with that my poem won....

Laters Phil...

10:19:43 PM on Sunday 6^th June 2004

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#3 My sentiments have changed:

If you can't rhyme,
It's practically a crime.
I wouldn't give you a dime,
Let alone build you a shrine.

Half rhymes are acceptible,
Even though they are not edible.
Though they don't roll off my tongue,
All day long.

If you cannot rhyme at all,
Then you're asking for a brawl,
I'll beat your head against a wall,
And away you'll try to crawl.

But I'll make you fall over,
So you go into a coma,
And die of exposure,
Now you're just another organ donor.

3:41:00 AM on Monday 7^th June 2004

Posted by: Chris Kent (thelessdeceived at hotmail dot com)

#4 I went to Oxford.
It was good;
I enjoyed the fud:
I think you should,
Go there?

Chris Kent

8:52:23 AM on Wednesday 9^th June 2004

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#5 I was watching Shrek,
When I thought feck,
I feel a little sick,
So I ran up on deck,
And vomitted on my pet...
...cat who scratched my legs to shit.

The moral of this rhyme is, don't vomit on cats, and always pronounce i's with an e sound.

4:41:36 AM on Thursday 10^th June 2004

Posted by: Phil (philfreeman at ntlworld dot com)

#6 I like the deck-shit quarter rhyme there Dave.

Niiiiiiiiiiiice...

Phil

10:09:51 PM on Thursday 10^th June 2004

Posted by: Richard Turner (pimpdaddy at freeemailsforasylumseekers dot com)

#7 ASSAULT!!

I AM ASSAULTING THIS BLOG HAHAHA!

ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!
ASSAULT!!

5:28:25 AM on Friday 11^th June 2004

Posted by: Phil (freeman dot phil at ntlworld dot com)

Fuck off.

0:31:36 AM on Tuesday 15^th June 2004

Posted by: Richard Turner

i was under strict orders to attack this blog so i did ;)

1:33:15 AM on Tuesday 15^th June 2004

Posted by: M@X (drmarkysparky at hotmail dot com)

#10

Did not like the assault either...

So...

Rich Turd Turner.
Arse like a burner.
Firey Bob.
What a Nob.
Face like a Gurner.

Never met you though mate, no offence just having a blog laugh

11:55:41 PM on Friday 18^th June 2004

Posted by: Phil (freeman dot phil at ntlworld dot com)

#11

Nice poem Max, but I think I have a better one.

There once was a man named Rick,
On whose forehead was featured a dick,
He started an assault,
But he discovered his fault,
When we all began to call him a prick.

With love.

(Only kidding mate )

0:33:01 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#12

Now hold one moment fine Sir's,
I have another rhyming verse.
Leave Richard alone,
He is a kind sole,
And if you don't you'll be needing a hearse.

0:37:30 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: Phil (freeman dot phil at ntlworld dot com)

#13

You stupid, ignorant tard
It's really not terribly hard
To spell "soul" correct
I sincerely suspect
Your brain has been somewhat jarred.

0:42:06 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#14

Now listen quite closely young chap,
You're being a bit of a twat,
You correct my spelling,
All the while forgetting,
That I'll kick your arse when to school we get back.

0:51:58 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: Richard Turner (rich at richardturner dot com)

#15

LMFAO nice work guys keep it . like you post lavalamp (#12)

0:55:19 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: Phil (freeman dot phil at ntlworld dot com)

#16

Dave,

This game is getting quite long,
And the competition is surprisingly strong,
You are quite right,
There shall be a fight,
But I'll kick your fucking face in you cunting bastard mong.

1:00:01 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: Richard Turner (rich at richardturner dot com)

#17

There was a man named phill
...coming soon nothing fucking rhymes with phill :@ your lucky phill

There was a man named max
who everyday fucked his mums cracks
His mum is a hoe
Who fucks everyone in one go
who needs to get some sacks

1:15:49 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#18

So I here that M@X is incestuous,
And he sucks his Dad off for breakfast.
His Mum doesn't mind,
She's next in line,
After M@X has tasted Dad's nectar.

1:21:01 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: Richard Turner (rich at richardturner dot com)

#19

sacks = balls

bring it phil Wink

There was a man named phil
who popped and pushed a pill
until his prick got erected
he tried but got rejected
by the ugliest fatiest women off the bill

1:25:38 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: lavalamp (d_s_h2 at hotmail dot com)

#20

This one goes out to Phil,
Whom I now want to kill,
Listen to me you fucking dyke,
I'm going to collect your head on a spike,
And drink your blood 'till I've had my fill.

Hehehe, top that (or just top yourself, whichever you prefer).

1:33:39 AM on Sunday 20^th June 2004

Posted by: M@X (drmarkysparky at hotmail dot com)

#21

Boys giving it me in rhyme.
Do I have the time.
Before I go to work.
To call everyone a jerk.

Turner fucks pigs.
And Dave his mum.
When I get to work.
Might give it Phil up his bum.

But over these comments.
I am starting to sob.
So each and everyone of you.
Suck my NOB.

I will be back.
Just been away for a bit.
So get your lips around my arse cheeks.
And suck out a shit.

Happy cigar smoking

12:32:17 AM on Friday 2^nd July 2004

Posted by: charlotte

#22

there once was a young girl called vicki,
who liked it hot and sticky,
she gave head in a lift,
as a birthday gift,
though the space limit proved to be tricky.

based on a true story

8:10:58 PM on Sunday 4^th July 2004

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